Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
