North Korea, Best Korea!
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
