She went from zero to smokin in five shots
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
