i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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