wakey wakey hands off snakey
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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