he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
