we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
