i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
