your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
