What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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