I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
