Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
FUCK WHALES
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
