Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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