So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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