I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
