Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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