Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
