Say something about gay babies.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
