I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
