AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What a dumb baby whore.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
