she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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