at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Randomize
