i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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