This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
