I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
