I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
