Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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