the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
