I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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