He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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