he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
