I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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