brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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