Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
