party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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