every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize