I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
