please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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