I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
