lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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