Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
