You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
