My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
