I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
