Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
