U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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