After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've blown a few things in my day
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
