I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I puked a lego.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
