yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize