So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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