Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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