its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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