Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
