did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
