Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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