This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
