So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
