He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
