i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
