Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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