i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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