Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
