When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just had sex bonerless
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
