I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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