YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
