he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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