the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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