I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
